Picture The Past

25 May

After months of procrastinating, I finally ordered my new laptop, (as a task to avoid another task I didn’t want to do) and in the process of backing up my files to transfer to the new laptop, I came across so many gems. Old poems, letters, stories and songs I’d written. It was so weird reading back those writings, almost like I was entering the mind of another person, someone I could somewhat relate to. Things I’d written, going back almost 10 years and seeing such a transformation from that young girl, lost but full of life, questions and thirst for adventure, to this grown woman, who likes to wander, with a deeper appreciation and understanding for the mysteries of life.

When Looking Back is a good thing...

When looking back is a good thing…

Back then, I thought my writing was top notch, but reading it now I couldn’t help but laugh. NOW I think my writing is top form, though this just proves that we are constantly developing and what we think is good quality now is always only a fraction of our best work to come. It seems I had a story to tell; so much drama and so many conflicting emotions. Reading back I thought “Wow this girl has issues, I thought I had issues but this is DRAMA”. I went through some trying times, but I see that I got through it and it encourages me that whatever we’re going through now, we will get through it also. All the things we worried about back then don’t seem to matter today, serving as a reminder that things eventually do get better because today I have a different story to tell.

One of the biggest files on my computer (yes beating the music files) was my pictures, starting from the summer of 2010. It was my first time travelling to the States for Camp. A life changing experience along with the other countries I visited like Thailand, Morocco, Japan and Paris. I found old pictures of birthdays, weddings, my graduation, and even my cousin’s first time at Nandos. What great memories and as each picture told a story it warmed my heart recalling the moment that led to the picture. There were pictures of near and far friends, family and old friends turned strangers. Despite my doubts sometimes, I actually do have great relationships. Some I’m very close to and those I don’t talk to every day, yet we’ve created beautiful memories in the past that will always be cherished. (The collages below are only a snapshot, there were so many pictures I wanted to upload but I had to pick just a few that capture the journey) Even the pictures with people I no longer speak to brought bittersweet memories. Challenging relationships teach us much about ourselves and if we are willing to learn, they make us better people. Seeing those faces again reminded me of where I was and how far I’ve come. It gave me a better picture of where to focus in my relationships.

Thailand, Morocco, Japan & Disneyland Paris!

Thailand, Morocco, Japan & Disneyland Paris!

Amazing summers in the USA!

Amazing summers in the USA!

For the first time in a long time, I was pleased with my past. Pictures are the evidence of the life that once was, and it made me proud that I did a lot of what I wanted to. This was the past as I knew it and it was positive; that I could accept. Back then in real time, I thought I was unhappy because I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing. But seeing the pictures as a bigger part of a puzzle, I was definitely living the life. Though I didn’t believe it then, I actually look like someone who had a clue. Travelling, socialising, and spending quality time with great people, that’s what was (and still is) important to me. A few weeks ago a friend asked “What is life really about?” And in hindsight I can say it’s partly about living a life that allows you to experience all kinds of moments with people you love, so you can create great memories that last a lifetime.

final

A story of a time around yesterday!  More Groupies, Less Selfies!

So you may be sitting here today feeling like you’re lost and/or unhappy but if you just capture these moments now, years from now you’ll be able to see this experience in the bigger scheme of things. Each person is a character in this wonderful story called Life and so we shouldn’t really ever feel stuck because Life is constantly changing and we are always growing. Whether it’s our physical appearance, mentality or lifestyle, we’re a different person today then we were yesterday, and a different person we will be tomorrow.

You are the photographer of your life; you chose what to capture, the location and settings, you choose the poses and the people…

…So make it beautiful.

I have found calmness in the midst of craziness

Ms Tola xx

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