The Pressure is on… To COMMIT.

28 Jan

This is my fourth and final post for January! Wow I’ve committed to ONE MONTH of blogging. Yay me!! I’m actually excited about this blog as I have built an expectation so I don’t want to disappoint. I didn’t know what to write next but this great idea came to me whilst I was in the shower so I had to keep drying my hands, typing on my phone and then getting back to my concert that makes Beyonce look like a back-up singer. (Mr JA aka #NOTteamTola… I haven’t forgotten about your comment in university about my dreams, pshhh). Anyways, it seems all my great thoughts manifest while I’m in the shower (high water bill) or in bed (insomnia). Cool huh?

Anyways back to my commitment challenges. As many of you know, it snowed last week. (Well it did here in the UK, not in Portugal or somewhere, because apparently it never snows over there!) And at the beginning of January, I was encouraged (and even sponsored) to take up a sport as it would help me focus and commit. I decided on swimming because last year I actually took lessons and passed my deep water test (meaning I can swim in the deep end of a pool; don’t know if that applies to open water but I think it’s too soon to find out). Swimming doesn’t require me to have a partner (I have some lazy, I mean “busy” friends) or join a team (I can be anti-social sometimes, I’m quite shy!). Yes, I know there’s jogging but I’d rather run on the treadmill and no I’m going nowhere, then run outside and have my neighbours laugh at me saying “She runs every day, but hasn’t lost weight” because I still snack a lot and eat junk food. Anyways this isn’t about losing weight, it’s about commitment. Let’s stay focused people, focus focus!!

So I chose swimming and decided to be going twice a week; Tuesday and Saturday. Since the 4th of Jan, I’ve been a total of… ONCE! Long story short, I gave many excuses for why I couldn’t go swimming. I had to change my internship day to Wednesday. It was snowing, so I couldn’t drive as it was dangerous. My mum has the car. I can’t get Public Transport as that turns a 7 minute drive into an hour journey. (I’m not even exaggerating, where the Swimming Pool is from my house, you have to get two buses and then walk down for 10 minutes as no buses go down there.)

Needless to say, I am very disappointed with myself (no chocolate biscuits for me today). That lone day I went swimming I actually enjoyed myself when I eventually got into the pool. When I paid at reception, I was hoping the pool was too busy, so I didn’t have to swim and say ‘at least I tried’. Tomorrow is swimming day, and the thought of it makes me want to cry. But I have to pump myself and think of the euphoric feeling I felt while I was doing my lengths. Let’s do this!! (Don’t get me wrong, I do really like swimming, it’s just the journey into the pool that bothers me. And it’d be nice if I had some company.)

Moral of THIS STORY; Commitment isn’t easy. Giving excuses are. But you have to push beyond feeling uncomfortable and laziness so it becomes a habit and then second nature. Sometimes you have to commit to things that aren’t fun and most times you have to go it alone. Set yourself targets and be DISCIPLINED!

Two years ago, I sat down with one of my mentors and drew up a goal plan.  We established a career path that I was to pursue before I was 30. I hated those, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years” questions. Well ALIVE (hopefully) duhhhh! “Doing what?” Living of course, duhhhh! Seriously!  So as I began this ‘new’ journey trying to find a career path, I realised I came RIGHT back to my initial passion that was discussed during my one-to-one! What was missing between then and now was COMMITMENT. I stopped pursuing that career path because a few obstacles came and I thought maybe this wasn’t for me. It reminded me the book The Alchemist, and it’s circular theme; sometimes you have to go far to find what is near.

Moral of THIS story – STAY COMMITED! “Brick walls are there for a reason; they let us prove how badly we want things.” Randy Pausch. Keep trying! Even when you come against some crazy storms, and high walls, if you are certain that THIS is what you were called to do, then pursue it and persevere! The OBJECTIVE always stays the same, but the PLAN may change in order to accommodate obstacles, challenges, and changes in circumstances. This is something I didn’t understand; I thought if the plan changed then I was on the wrong route. But the plan is just a method to execute the OBJECTIVE!! If you don’t take anything else away from this post, take that!

I’m sure it raises the question; how do I know when to keep trying and when to let go? Well if it’s something you know you can’t live without doing then it’s worth it to die trying. In other words, NEVER LET GO! You’ll either get there eventually or die! Whichever comes first! It’s all hard work and you have to ask if you’re willing to work hard. I always ask ‘how hard does hard have to be?’ Cheeky Monkey!

My final challenge of commitment in the week came in the desire to QUIT! I studied Law at university, and in hindsight I feel it wasn’t the degree for me. Though I’d like to say it was a mistake, as I’ve learnt (and so my mum tells me) ‘no knowledge is lost.’ (Now you know why I’m great at arguing, persuading and showing you how 1+1 can be 68) So no regrets! I graduated in 2010, threatening to quit every year, and succeeded in dropping out in Jan 2008. However, I was then threatened to go back. (You already know the accent so here it goes; ‘So you wont to leave in deese house. Han you will nort go to skoo. We sha see habout dart.” My mother says as she clicks her fingers above her head.) We all know what happened next right? A month later I was enrolled to resume my studies the coming September.

grad IMG00087-20110108-1118 100_1325

So recently, I was encouraged (no persuaded) to make use of my Degree and get experience in a Law firm which I’ve been doing for the past month. Last week, I was just fed up. I felt like I was wasting my time, energy doing something I don’t even want as an occupation. My girls encouraged me not to quit, that the experience may come in handy one day and I should stick at it for the mean time whilst finding what I really want to do. This now pushes me to be very active in building the career I truly desire, that actually makes me happy.

Moral of THIS STORY – Sometimes commitment is just a process of seeing it through and sticking it out until you find something better. “Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you. We become whatever we are committed to.” Rick Warren. Commit to what is true to you, and not what everybody expects you to do.

The best thing to come out of my degree! Law students; I'm sure we were breaking some kind of law. Muahahahaaaa

The best thing to come out of my degree! Law students; I’m sure we were breaking some kind of law. Muahahahaaaa

What are YOU committed to?

Ahhh, commitment commitment! If I’m being honest, it somewhat scared me. Because up until this year, I lived a life of doing as I pleased, when I didn’t like something or it was too hard; On to the next. And I’d wonder, “Why am I not moving forward?” The only thing I was committed to was being uncommitted, lol!

So in light of the new me, this year I’m determined to be committed (to the right cause), because you know being an “adult” and all, I have to learn to be responsible and yadi da di da! So yeah! Commitment can be a scary thing when you look too far ahead. Just take it ONE day at a time, giving the thing all your attention for that day.


I have found calmness in the midst

Ms Tola


2 Responses to “The Pressure is on… To COMMIT.”


  1. What The Heck Was I Thinking? | thoughtchannel - May 16, 2013

    […] a prejudice towards women and prefer long term commitment. And you already know how I feel about commitment. In Africa? Too similar to my culture. So Thailand somehow came about based on affiliations with […]


  2. Job or Career? | thoughtchannel - November 30, 2014

    […] as a Data Manager for a clinical trials unit; a field I didn’t even know existed. After committing to my decision to NOT pursue a career in Law, it was back to the drawing board for me. I spent numerous months, […]


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