I Just Don’t Know!!!

9 Jan

Who would have thought, I created this blog on January 14th 2012 and I am yet to post!

So I thought (look at all these ‘thoughts’ already, I guess thoughtchannel really is a great title for this blog), ‘Hey, another year has passed so I’d better get writing.’ Why? Just to put down my thoughts and clear my mind of all the words that constantly bombard my brain. Being left handed and all, the way my brain processes things is different because I use a different side of my brain, and if that part is clogged up, it really affects me functioning properly and yadi ya, so I have to write to free up the space. You catch my drift. Also, I just love writing; I write notes and I jot things down but I actually cannot stand loose sheets of paper; it’s so messy and unorganised so I had to find some other channel (I’m definitely milking this title) to transfer my thoughts.

Please bear with me, because my thoughts are all over the place. But there is a specific topic I want to discuss today and I’m going to write this. Forgive me if I digress a lot; I’m going with the free flow of thoughts. But I will get there eventually.

So today, I had an appointment with a careers advisor and we had a very interesting conversation about my life and what I’d like to do with it (like being the operative word) And it reinforced two things for me. 1) I can possibly do any job in the world (excluding the ones I hate, overlooking the ones I’m not actually qualified to do, and disregarding the ones that erm… I’m not particularly interested in) and 2) I’m actually quite a catch. After giving him a brief synopsis about my life (talking about 10 minutes), he said and I quote ‘You’re impeccably employable. I would hire you, and I haven’t even looked at your CV yet.’ Clearly I said something and he was thoroughly impressed about the ‘me’ I sold him. So there wasn’t a doubt about what I can do, but what I’d LIKE to do…

Anyway, VERY long story short. We spent the whole day talking and doing exercises and all the other stuff you do when you’re on training. I spoke, he asked me questions, and I answered. We concluded that I’ve done quite a lot of a ‘jobs’, I’ve got experience and skills in a variety of fields and I was quite the enthusiast for learning-on-the-job. The problem you ask? Well I don’t actually know what I want to do career wise. And for a long while I hated to admit that, the notion that you just don’t know what to do wasn’t something I was proud of. Academically, I’m an intelligent student (so say my school report cards, not necessarily my grades) so I’d know pretty much a lot. If I didn’t know, click and be sure I’d find an answer for you. If I still didn’t know, then obviously I just wasn’t interested in that piece of information. *disregard*

A few weeks ago, whilst having a debate with my family about life perspectives and motivates, my mum told me that I lack focus. As much as the ‘lawyer’ in me wanted to play devil’s advocate, I couldn’t deny the truth that stood so clearly before me. I watched Ally McBeal, I wanted to be a lawyer. Watched something else, wanted to be an actress, love travelling, maybe I should work for British Airways. You see where I’m going with this, right? I remember hearing a quote, “A person who lacks vision is easily influenced by every suggestion” (I actually just tried to find this quote but couldn’t find it, so now I’m questioning its validity, maybe the person who said it was mistaken. Phew!!! Because I love watching Scrubs but you don’t see me wanting to become a doctor or nurse or anything in health care for that matter. In light of all that, yes I have dreams and things I want to achieve but right now I just need to focus on ONE thing. ONE thing at a time. Find ONE thing and pursue it. Sure my extra-curricular activities will just be a bonus and benefit, but I will keep the main thing, THE MAIN THING. My two words for 2013 are FOCUS and COMMITTMENT!!

So to conclude (sorry if you got lost in the middle, I feel like I’m starting to waffle, and I actually have homework to do by tomorrow and I’m pressed for time) I’m on a journey to find, not so much a career path per se, but to find something that is meaningful and which I can devote my time, energy, skills and talents to. You know, something that will inspire and support people whilst providing an income and means for me to support myself. Something in which I can grow, develop and learn more about myself and the world I live in. A lifestyle that’s more than a job title.

So here it is; the theme of this post is I JUST DON’T KNOW (career wise). Feel free to join me on this journey. ‘I don’t particularly know where I’m going but I promise you, it won’t be boring.’ (Now that’s a quote you can Google.) The beauty of this journey is I’m in a place where I have accepted that it’s ok not to know; it doesn’t make me any less of a person, it doesn’t diminish my intelligence, it shouldn’t make me feel inferior to those who may have figured it out. The first step in resolving an issue is identifying that there is a problem. Now, let’s find that solution. I’m not going to worry or stress myself to figure it all out straight away. But just enjoy this discovery, enjoy this moment because I believe all things will work out for my good regardless.

So to put my two words of the year in a sentence; the FOCUS of this blog is to channel my thoughts (don’t you just love the word play) for clarity and organisation and to help me COMMIT to the art of writing on a regular basis. That is all.

I have found calmness in the midst of the craziness!

Ms Tola x


3 Responses to “I Just Don’t Know!!!”

  1. michael kors portefeuilles January 12, 2013 at 12:46 am #

    Very practical info. Hope to view more items soon!



  1. Don’t Worry About Tomorrow! | thoughtchannel - December 31, 2013

    […] I focused? As I said in I Just Don’t Know, the journey is to find something meaningful that I can devote my time, energy, skills and talents […]


  2. Taking Stock | thoughtchannel - December 31, 2014

    […] I did. The groundwork of this year was just as important, and the journey remains the same as when I just didn’t know. But next year, it is more specific and I will be proud about everything I achieve and even more […]


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